Before the curtain closes

Lately I've been revisiting my teenage years and have gotten back into Newsies. As a teenager, I loved this movie! I followed the actors for probably 10 years into amazing careers. I followed four of the guys onto the Nickelodeon show, Roundhouse which I also came to love.

One of the most tragic of stories is that of one of the most talented actors from Newsies. Dominic Lucero. Amazingly talented guy and, as I've read and heard, an all around amazing guy. In 1993, he was diagnosed with lymphomic cancer. He passed away July 1, 1994 barely 2 months before his 27th birthday.

The amazing thing to me is that 18 years after his death, his fans are still out there keeping his memory alive. It amazes me constantly the number of lives one person touches. The memorial pages, blogs, tumblrs, youtube memorials and all else on the internet amazes me. They all make me cry, but that's another story.

I've been dreaming about Dominic lately. Only one really made sense. I know he has been on my mind lately, but the volume of the dreams is getting weird.

The most recent dream involved the 3rd season of Roundhouse. The morning I had this dream I was watching Roundhouse in episode order. (I bought the series off ioffer.com.) I was looking for the final 3 episodes he appeared in during season 3. I decided to take a nap and I had this dream.

I was watching the show which happened to be season 3 and I think I was in the audience. I don't remember specifics really. I just saw a lot of dancing and singing. It was really the set and all that went with it.

Somehow I got to what looked like a movie theater and was standing in the lobby. It turned out this was where the show was filmed. (Yeah, not really, but it was in my dream.) It was flipping back and forth to me going to the movies and me seeing Roundhouse. That part was weird. But suddenly, I was there for Roundhouse and I was standing in the lobby. Dominic was heading off to the studeo and looked like he did in season 1. He looked happy and healthy. He was wearing the outfit he wore during the Conflict episode in season 1. He walked by me and I said, "Hey, Dominic. It's good to have you back.  He turned, smiled and said, "Thanks." Then he continued on.

That was it. If there was more, I don't remember it.

The other dreams were sort of fragments.

The first one I had was sort of like Kevin's behind the scenes of Newsies. He was just walking around. Except here it looked like he was rehearsing for something.

The other dream I don't really remember, but I know he was in it. I think it was more of the first dream. He was there, but there wasn't a purpose to the dream. He was just there somewhere.

I finally did see the final 3 episodes he appeared in and about cried watching his final episode. The first episode he was in during season 3 was with him sitting in the audience. Ivan ran out into the audience during the credits and pointed him out. He looked so different. Then when he was in the actual show, I realized he really did look different. A result of his treatment maybe? His voice sounded strained. The way he walked even looked as if he struggled to make it across the stage. I was about in tears by the credits.

I want to know the story behind this so badly. Why did he come back when he was so sick? I love that he did, but why?

I wish I hadn't become a full-fledged Dominic fan after he was gone. I liked him and missed him in the day, but I wish I'd come to love him like others have for the last 20+ years before now.

RIP Dominic. We still love and miss you.

The absent member of the press

On one of my days off, I slept the day away. I had another school dream.

I was back in college. I felt overwhelmed beyond belief. I was in a class taught by my favorite professor, Rebecca. She stood at the front of the room and was driving home the importance of our next project. She was really riding us about the due date which was within a week.

We has to attend some event that would be on campus and it was a big deal. We each had an assigned aspect to cover. I was freaking out about it all.

The whole time I was sure I was dropping the ball everywhere.

So the day of the event, I forget to go and when I remember I am late. I rode a bike and was in a hurey. I get the and forgot my press pass we were all given to get in. Also forgot a bike lock. I decide I'm too late anyway and think I can fudge my way through the paper. But I also have to give an oral presentation. And I didn't have anything done the day befoee it was due.

Yes another stress dream. Maybe about the new year amd all rhe changes? I don't know.

The stress dream returns

I had a couple of dreams last night.

A few months ago, I discovered what I had only guessed at for years. The dreams I've had about being back at school are stress related. I know that when I have them, it is always during a time of my life when I'm going through stress or doubting myself. So when someone told me they are typical stress dreams, I wasn't surprised.

Here's the one I had last night.

I was back in school and I had one particular class where the professor was psycho about attendance. If you missed one day, she's flunk you. I had decided to return to counseling and for some reason I can't figure out, I scheduled my appointment during this class. I guess this would also be my last appointment with her too.

I called and rescheduled and all was fine. But I also had a paper due in this class that I hadn't written and I didn't realize this until the day of class. No idea how that turned out, but next thing I know it's time for my appointment.

And I had scheduled this appointment during another class. I was also trying to figure out if I could still turn in my paper even though it was late. I guess I wrote it and had it done, but late.

I couldn't decide what to do about the paper, so I went with my grandmother (I think) to ShopKo. I had time before my appointment and I was looking for something.

I got there and went to the toy department where, I guess, the product was. Can't remember what I was looking for. They had the toy department blocked with these little kids dressed as little soldiers. A worker was at both ends of the row (I guess there's just one row for toys in my dream) and it looked like they were doing inventory.

I went to the customer service desk and said I wanted to file a complaint. I said that they had the row blocked. The woman said, "Oh, they close the toy department on Tuesdays. Didn't you see the sign?" I said I hadn't and she replied, "I'm surprised you didn't. It's right outside the store." I complained that this was ridiculous because apparently it was close to Christmastime and to have the toy department closed was like having the entire store closed.

I went back to shopping at another part of the store and counted off how many times ShopKo has screwed me over. Then ran into a guy in the watch department who was mentioning he was going to go look for something related to watches/kids in the toy department. I told him not to bother and that if it wasn't there, he wouldn't find it.

Then I realized I was 15 minutes late to my counseling appointment and I had scheduled this appointment during another class which I would be missing completely. I ran to try and catch my appointment. Never knew if I did or not.

The Threat of Falling

Last night I had a downright frightening dream.

First, some back story. In my town, there used to be a cross that overlooked the city. It was to honor fallen veterans. During December, they would light it for the holidays. Easter too. Eventually, people protested enough that it was religious and should be taken down, so it was. One of our religious universities has it on their grounds now.

In my dream, they were airlifting the cross from somewhere. No idea where. And for another reason I don't know, a bunch of people, me included, had to ride on the airlifted cross. So while we are in mid-air without harnesses, me and some other people I don't know where hanging onto this cross.

I refused to open my eyes, but also couldn't grab hold of anything. I was holding on, but it wasn't secure. Then while we were flying through the air, the people beside me kept moving closer and closer to me. This shoved me closer to the edge. At one point, I could feel my foot reaching the edge and having no where else to go. I kept yelling, "Stop it, you guys!" And I kept trying to get a firmer grasp on something.

Eventually, the helicopter landed and were were told we could get off. I felt lucky to be alive.

What does all that mean? I know I'm afraid of heights, but the cross? I may need to look this one up.

I'll be right back...off to England for the afternoon...

So, my other dream was so interesting, it deserved it's own post.

In this dream, I took a trip I've been dying to take for a while now. I've been wanting to take a trip to England and visit my friend Jo.

I remember some of going through the airport and taking the flight over to England.

All I really remember was getting to England and meeting Jo. She took me back to her house and introduced me to the kids she takes care of. Yes, that was plural. In the dream, she took care of 3 kids where in reality it's just one. The oldest must have been 12 or 13. The younger ones were a boy and a girl at 5 and 6 (or there abouts). I met the youngest first and they did nothing but stare at me. I reasoned that it was because of my accent. Then the oldest girl came out and started talking about trying on clothes.

Then it sort of skipped around. I was suddenly deciding what I was going to do about going home. I realized I didn't have a passport and decided a spontaneous trip anywhere wasn't a good idea. Then I began to wonder how I'd gotten to England without a passport.

That was sort of where it ended. I think. Not really sure since my memory of it gets foggy from there.

We're not friends anymore...

I know it's been a while. I haven't been having many really odd dreams. Or much of any dreams that I can recall as interesting that I wanted to write down. I think the two I had last night are worth of posts of their own.

So here's the first...

And since I don't believe the person this dream was about reads this, I'll post it. Total anonymity because it was about someone I know, regardless of whether they read this or not.

In the dream a friend of mine invited me to go hang out with she and some friends of hers. I agreed and we ended up hanging out at someone's house. I don't really remember much about what we did except I think we played some board games and had dinner.

At some point, I fell asleep. In the dream, I was asleep in a bed and everyone was sitting on the bed...which was really strange. It makes more sense, though, that I fell asleep on the couch or something.

Anyway, I fell asleep. When I woke up, this friend of mine was sitting across from me laughing. I could tell immediately that she and her friends had been making fun of me while I was sleep. As soon as she saw I was awake, she started laughing harder and acted, sarcastically, like she'd been caught.

I got really pissed off. I mean, wouldn't you?

As I sobered from my sleep, I got more and more angry. Somehow, I ended up having a bottle of baby powder next to me. The group had been having dinner and their uneaten food was sitting in front of them.

With all of them still laughing, I took the bottle of baby powder, unscrewed the top, and dumped the contents of the bottle (yes, baby powder) all over this friend's plate of food (it looked like deluxe nachos). Immediately, she stopped laughing and I leaned closer and said to her so fiercely it shocked me (even in my dream!), "We are done.!" The friend didn't skip a beat saying, "Yes, we are!"

I didn't waste time either and got all of my things to leave. I don't remember any more of the dream.

Lesson: Don't mess with me! LOL

Reoccuring of a Reoccurance

Guess what? The college dreams are back!

This one I'm sure was a continuation or redo of another one I'd had a while back. I've had dreams where I thought I'd been to the place or had an experience before when it was only that way in the dream. In reality, it had never happened. In this case, I'm pretty sure it was a continuation.

I was back in school and had again either forgotten a class, dismissed it as unimportant or just given up at one point in the term. At this point in the dream, I'm realizing my error. That I now had a class on my schedule I couldn't just get rid of. Now I also have a paper due. I'd been to class at some point, but now it's weeks later and I'm realizing I haven't been to that class in a while. There was a paper due, but that due date has long since come and gone.

I'm contemplating what I'm going to do. Should I even bother writing the paper and hope the professor will take it late? And how do I deliver it? Do I go to class and had it in in person or slip it under his door. I really want to just slip it under his office door and hope to get credit for it. I decide it would probably be better if I went to class and tried to talk him into taking it with a grade adjustment for being late.

I decide I will write the paper and go to start because apparently I've already done the research and just have to write it. When I pick up the photo copies and such, I see I've already written pages and pages and simply have to type it up. I then make the connection that probably half or more is already done. Now I just have to finish.

I never got to a conclusion. Think I'm worried about failure? Hmmm, maybe.

Meet my new Boyfriend

This was the best nap I've ever had! I dreamed that Rob asked me out and we began a relationship. In my dream, I couldn't believe it!

I think it started out with how I met him. I can't really remember that part. But it was almost instant the feelings I had for him. He asked me to go out with him and I was anxious to go!

I think we started on a relationship unsure of what we were really doing. What I do remember about the dream is Rob showed up to my place (not my place. Formerly my place from years ago) to pick me up for a date. I think we became a little amorous and we kissed. My grandmother caught us and he left the house. When the dust settled, I worried about where he had gone. I called his mother which wasn't. It was actually a high school friend's mother, but it was his mother in the dream. She told me he'd left a while before, but that she had told him he'd be late if he took a certain road. I realized he hadn't actually left my place. I looked out the window and saw his car still parked outside. He drove a little blue compact car. So cute!

I said I was sorry for bothering her, but I'd found him. I hung up and went to find him. He was standing just outside the door looking shy and embarrassed. He started to apologize and I took his hand and guided him away from the door. I told him it was okay and that he didn't have to be embarrassed. I hugged him and told him it would be okay.

In that moment, I felt so close to him. I think I told him I loved him.

Then we went in and he apologized to my grandmother and gave her a gift. Seltzer water. She loved it. Dreams are weird. Then I said I was going out with him and she said to be home by 1.

I went with him to some party. Some place that was heavily security laden. We couldn't be alone. We were always surrounded by people. I don't know what happened or what we did. I just know I was kind of bored and really wanted to be alone with him.

I don't remember much more except later I was telling my grandmother how close I felt to him. And how we had had an instant connection.

The interesting thing was, I wasn't who I am now. I was younger. Probably the same age he is now. Because I knew I wasn't older than him as I really am. I felt younger and prettier. I mentioned as I talked about how we felt about each other that I had no idea what appeal I had for him, but I knew I adored him. I knew not why he adored me. As he appeared to and acted rather protective of me.

Well, I get a reward for taking a nap today! Getting Rob's love and devotion :)

Sickness Induced Dreams

Since I've been sick, I've had so many dreams I decided to put what I could remember into one post.

The most recent was yet another college dream or rather nightmare. Apparently I had been dodging classes and such, but decided I was going to finally buckle down and go to class and do all the work. So I went to class and we were assigned a paper which really wasn't that hard. I started to work on it right away, but found I couldn't concentrate on it, so I put it aside. One week later, I realized I'd never finished that paper and it was due that day. I thought I'd be able to churn out a paper in the morning before class. Well, that never happened. I got to class and saw everyone with their papers and knew I'd screwed up again. I felt so embarrassed and rather trapped, so I just got up and left the class rather than face everyone without an assignment.

Then the dream went into the architecture of the building we were meeting in. How I could stand on an upper level and hear the class, but no one could see me.

Also, during all this, I wasn't sleeping at home. I was sleeping outside in some alley or something. I woke up outside, sleeping on some old mattress or cot. I had a couple of the blankets from my own bed along with others that weren't mine. I decided I could store the blankets in my grandmother's car. She was volunteering at the hospital which is near the college. Strangely, it looked nothing like it does in real life. As I was walking to the parking lot, I realized I didn't know where she'd parked her car. I don't know how I resolved this because when I got to class, I didn't have the blankets. I thought about using a locker or something.

That was all for that one.

I also had another dream about school. In this one, I was taking a class by a professor who had failed me twice before. I don't know if this was the 3rd time I was taking this one class or if it was the 3rd in a series of classes. It doesn't really make sense if it was a series because I had failed the other two and I couldn't have gotten to the 3rd one without the other two. But anyway...

I went to class I think on the first day and decided I was going to try and coast by, but realized it wasn't going to work. I had already failed twice and couldn't pass if I just coasted by. So I decided to talk to the professor. That's where it ended.

Also dreamed about my camera. That I went to some big deal event I'd been waiting for and had forgotten to charge the battery.

A Whole Bunch of Michael Johns

Last night I fell asleep shortly after dinner and just kept right on sleeping. I woke up at midnight then went back to sleep. Didn't remember any dreams until this morning.

It was basically one really long dream in parts. The first part, I went to see Michael Johns in concert again. It seemed like a really big deal this time. I think Brooke White was with him, but I'm not sure. I seem to remember him doing the duet with her. But I also seem to recall that he was doing his show solo. Then there was some really weird stuff like all of us taking a boat trip and stuff like that.

At one point in the show, he asked if there were any requests. I requested one of my favorite songs which I've always thought he thinks of his wife while singing. He did not sing it at the show I saw in real life, but he did sing it when I requested it. He said, "Oh, my wife will thank you for that. It's one of her favorites."

After the show, or during some intermission, we (who was with me, I'm not sure but only one other person was) somehow got to another part of the venue. And where the venue was, I have no idea. It was some big warehouse like building with lots of stares and it was very dark.

Then we ended up having some little group thing with Michael. Some of us sitting around him. I guess they asked him questions. Not sure. As the group started to leave, it ended up being just the three of us. I asked him if I could ask him a question. He said sure. I said, "If this is too personal, just let me know." He said okay. I said, "Do you and Stacey plan to have children?" He said, "No, we're too busy and I don't think I want one." One, meaning a child. It was really strange because he didn't say it like he totally disliked the idea. It was like it was fact. "No, we're not having children."

Then we headed back with the rest of the group. As we were walking down a flight of stairs, Stacey came running up to us until she got next to Michael. Then she held her hand out to me to shake my hand. "It's nice to meet you," she said and then said, "I owe you one." Meaning the song I'd requested.

I think there was more, but I dno't remember it.

Then I was meeting with my friend Miranda. We were in her car and she was trying to get some music from her iphone. She got it to working to transmit over her car radio and one of the songs to come up was Michael Johns. At some point we started talking and she admitted she'd seen all my trip/concert pictures. Somehow I had video of it and showed her at her house. Then she said something about needing to figure out how to better communicate with her friends. And how she means to talk to me and others, but she just doesn't. This I know is because she hasn't been talking to me since she went to law school and she's been on my mind.

There was another dream, but I can't remember what it was.

My alarm didn't go off!

During my afternoon nap today, I had this horrible dream about work...

I slept through my alarm, or didn't set it at all, and work up late. I shot out of bed, but my clock said I still had time before work. So I sat down to watch some TV. I did this for a while before I looked at the clock and realized my alarm clock had been wrong. It was now 9:30 and I was REALLY late to work!

I rushed to get ready, grabbing some breakfast and trying to get out the door. I don't know why I didn't call work, but I didn't. I had trouble with the toaster and ended up leaving the house without my breakfast.

Went to catch the bus and it was late too. Once I was stranded, I called work. My boss was very, I don't know, short with me I guess. I apologized over and over and said I'd be there as soon as I could. When I got there, they weren't even working. It was like they were having a carnival and they were manning booths. I apologized again and then told anyone who would listen about my horrible morning.

BTW, my worst fear is being late and sleeping through my alarm. But I've only done this a couple times in my life, but never to this degree.

It happened again!!!

So, guess what? Another bizarre dream...

Yesterday was payday. I got my pay stub, but left it at work and couldn't look at it to figure out my checkbook last night. So I went onto my bank website and discovered my pay was significantly cut short of the last one. I knew that had to be wrong because we get paid every 2 weeks and I'm full time. The pay doesn't change. So I started worrying about what it could be. Typical of me.

Last night's dream...

I came to work just as scheduled and two of my co-workers were in the supply room. I went in and asked if their paychecks were different than usual. (I had called a friend from work and asked her the same thing in real life, so this was probably the reason for this part) One said he had a few hours missing. Somehow the "magic" figure came to 32 or 36 hours...don't know where this came from since we get paid every two weeks which would be 80 hours. I then found my HR person and asked, "Why was I only paid for 32 hours?"

That was the end.

So this morning I get to work and find my pay stub. Turns out my dream was actually right. I did only get partially paid. I'm missing 11 hours which was sick time from last week. My sick time wasn't figured in at all.

Do I say it again? Strange?

Although, this was just my fears manifesting themselves in dream form, so nothing really mysterious. Just my ideas of what the problem could be.

Worker Elves?

I had another really strange dream the other night.

On Thursday, one of my co-workers gave me a project and told me she would have one more thing done by the end of the day, but that I would be gone by then. She said she would leave it on my desk to work on Friday.

That night I dreamed that she told me she had just done it herself for some reason. I guess she figured she could do it. And that the mailing was done and mailed out by Friday.

When I got to work on Friday, there was an email from her saying: I just went ahead and got it done. There weren't that many to do.

I was stunned. This is the second time this sort of thing has happened. Where I've dreamed something that actually happened or was going to happen that I knew nothing about ahead of time.

How weird is that?!?!

Dreaming of magnets and soda

Two dreams last night.

First, the backstory to one. At work, we have this in/out board where everyone marks their in-office status. Everyone has a magnet of which is their own choosing. My friend Miranda has a Pee Wee Herman magnet which she loves. Last night when everyone was leaving, she said, "Where's Pee Wee! Who took Pee Wee?!" Someone had taken her magnet and left a little tea cup magnet instead. No one knew how did it and I must have been away when it had been replaced.

Last night I dreamed I found out who did it. It was like I was watching what had really happened, but made revisions to it. One of my co-workers, John, told her he'd replaced her magnet. Saying something about the teacup being "her." But, mostly I remember that he had confessed to doing it.

So, I get here today and guess what happens?! John comes out and says, "I guess I should return Miranda's magnet." I started laughing and told him I knew it had been him, but didn't tell him about the dream. Strange, huh!

Second dream...

Been thinking about our pop machine again lately. Our can holder is getting full and I'm thinking about moving the full bag somewhere else. So last night I dreamed that my boss was having her family meeting at the office after hours. Before closing the office, she told me, "Make sure there is a little of each kind of pop in the machine. Mostly the regular stuff." So I opened the machine and it was almost completely empty! I freaked for a moment wondering when that had happened and if there would be enough to drink for her meeting. I went to her and told her about the situation and she said, "All I need is maybe 3 or 4." I was in the clear! Makes me want to double check the machine today!

Returning to my own personal Hell

Last night I had the most bizarre dream. I've probably said that before, but this was so strange!

I was forced to return to middle school! I was told that I hadn't finished school after all and had to go back to 7th grade or something. It wasn't all that clear on what grade I was in. For some reason, I didn't really fight it. I just went and when I got there I so wanted out. I couldn't imagine going back through the grades again. I made it through the first half of the day, but by lunch, I had had enough.

I had had time to think too. I thought, "Hey, I got my high school diploma! Why do I have to do this again?!" Plus, I realized I hadn't informed my work of what I was doing. By that point, I'd already missed a day of work and hadn't told anyone. I started freaking out! Somehow another day had almost passed too, so I was trying to either get to work or call them.

That was a true nightmare!

Give Me Some Jasper Hale

For those who don't know, this is Jackson Rathbone. He plays Jasper Hale in Twilight (and the following Twilight sequels...let's hope all of them ;))

The other night I dreamed that Jackson took me horseback riding. Why horses? You got me! I don't even know where we were or how we knew each other. But suddenly he was there and asking if I wanted to ride a horse. I really did and he took me to the stables where he had his own horse. The dream is pretty much fragmented (as they end up being after a while) and all I remember is seeing an awful lot of horses. I told him I knew how to ride (which I do, but haven't done so in a long time), but when we were ready to ride, I realized something terribly important at the time. I didn't have the right shoes! I looked at what he was wearing and he had these great cowboy boots and I complained that I didn't have the right shoes to ride. I think he told me it didn't matter. We got on our horses and started to ride. We hadn't gotten far when he had to leave and told me that I could ride the trail alone if I felt comfortable doing that. I guess I did because the next thing I knew I was alone. Them someone happened along that I knew (don't have the slightest idea who it was now) and she started asking me what I was doing out there. I told her Jackson had taken me out riding and I said, "He has his own horse at the stables, you know." The whole time I was talking to her, I just kept trying to get control over my horse. He was walking all over and I couldn't get him to stand still. I think I kept losing the reigns too.

Then it just ended. What was really strange was that before the horse riding thing, I could see very clearly some magazine article shots with Jackson wearing a cowboy hat and with a horse saddle over one shoulder. It was really sexy! Too bad I made it up in my head!

Does he ride horses? I don't know. I don't even know where the photo spread sprang from. But, boy, I'd kill to see it in print!!!

Twilight in my Dreams

I'm posting this video because I think it's what prompted this dream I had about meeting the cast of Twilight. Read on...oh, and the video is funny! By the way, (because I needed an explanation) the picture on the shirt is of one of Rob's friends from England. Apparently, he doesn't notice it until he looks up at the girl to ask her name. That was his honest reaction to the shirt and I love that he almost falls off his chair! Also, the guy standing behind him is his manager.

So I had this dream that was so vivid, I had to share. I went to the mall for a Hot Topic Twilight thing. It was funny because I wasn't sure why I was there in the first place. I get there and I see this ginormous line and I had to ask exactly where the end was. It wove all around the mall kind of like an abstract painting. Anyway, got in line and started talking to the other girls in line. I asked if they knew what exactly was going on. If they were giving stuff away, or what. I said, "Are the actors here?" We all decided they probably weren't. I said, "I already got my movie, so I don't know what I could buy here." So the line slowly moved and the dream fast-forwarded to when I got a glimpse inside the store. All the actors were sitting in a line signing autographs! Me and the other girls in line just freaked out. Jumping all over and screaming. I personally wouldn't do that, but it was funny in the dream.

I really only noticed two people: Rob and Jackson. I think Kristen was there too. But there were about five people. It's just such a blur now. I noticed Rob was his usual disheveled self wearing a plain white t-shirt and his hair was a mess. And he hadn't shaved in at least two days. Typical Rob!

So I now became worried because I had nothing to sign. I wasn't buying the movie or soundtrack, so I wondered if I would have to find something to buy.

I get up there and Rob asks for my name. I tell him. But they were seated behind this large table that set everyone pretty far apart from them. So, I had to kind of yell it across to him. I thought it was probably to keep the rabid fangirls away from him. At first, it looked like they were just signing pieces of paper, but when I got to the end of the line and everyone had signed, I realized it was some sort of print out of pictures of the cast. It was weird looking and at first it didn't look like anyone had really signed it, but had photocopied signatures on it. I was disappointed then. Then I noticed what looked like a signature at the top.

The worst part? I didn't even get to touch him! *grins*

What you really want

I had a whole bunch of dreams this weekend. I must have been overtired or slept too much. Something.

The one that stood out to me was a work related dream. I've been feeling out of sorts lately. Not sure how to describe it. Unsatisfied maybe. Don't know. So I had this dream that I was approached by my CEO. Sort of an in passing conversation. She asked how I was doing and I gave a generic "okay." She asked if I everything was going okay. I said something about how I wasn't sure or not everything was okay. Not sure how I phrased it. She then said, "What are you going to change." Or something like that. Can't remember how she worded it. But it freaked me out. I thought she'd think I was considering finding a new job. Not that that is really an option for me in reality. But in the dream I may have been thinking that.

Is my subconscious trying to tell me something?

Going to School & Driving Cars

Last week I had this strange dream about driving. I was talking or meeting with a woman I work with. She's a high up the ladder person. Anyway, I got into my car and tried to pass her, but I felt like I'd gotten way too close to her car and put a huge dent in the side...while she was in it!!! I got out and apologized and she seemed to not know what I was talking about. I showed her the dent and she said, "Oh, that. You couldn't have done that." Apparently, it had already been there.

Strangely, this is not the first time I've dreamed of hitting her car. This particular car was an old junk heap of which she doesn't own. Don't know why that was part of the dream. The other dream was about her mini van. Me and a group of people from work had apparently met somewhere for some reason. We all got into our cars and were lined up driving out of some parking lot. I guess I was following too close behind her and I hit the back of her van pretty hard. I immediately panicked because I knew her kids were in the car with her. Everyone stopped and got out to see if everyone was okay, but the whole time I was a panicky mess.

So, the first dream I think I had because the evening before I'd been at Wal-Mart and someone had parked really close to me and I was afraid when I pulled out of my parking spot that I was going to hit them. I was almost sweating as I tried to maneuver my car out.

Next dream...

Back to the college dreams again. It started with me trying to register for classes online. I was going to go back to UO apparently for fall term of some year. The problem turned out to be my timing. All the classes I wanted were full. When I registered for whatever I could get, I discovered I had no time for work. I guess I was going to continue working (not sure if it was my current job or somewhere else part time). My days were really funky with either full day of classes or nothing at all. I realized this wasn't going to work, so I made the decision to return to school just yet.

Then I realized I'd have to tell my grandmother...why she figured in, I don't know. So somehow it all came up with her and I told her I wasn't going to be going back to school just yet. "I'm going to take this term off." I told her the way my classes figured, I'd have to take upwards of 18 credits and I had to take at least 12 to qualify for financial aid, so it wasn't going to work for me.

Then last night I dreamed about school and cars. I guess I was back in high school and for some reason we suddenly had three cars at our disposal. And we lived back where we lived when I was in high school. During the weekend, we somehow got these three cars. So Monday morning I asked if I could drive myself to school. My grandmother said, "You can't." I suggested driving one of the cars which looked like my cousin's piece of junk (which he totaled a few years ago) and she said we didn't have it anymore. It was taken by my cousin, aunt, uncle...someone. I asked about the third car which looked a lot like the one we have now and she said it was out at my uncle's house (why it was there, I have no idea) out on the outskirts of town. She then asked how I thought we'd fit another car into our carport (which we had at the time).

For the record, my grandma talked to the insurance company about getting a second car. She discovered that it didn't matter what kind of car, (old or new, junk heap or working) it would still cost more than we felt was worth the cost. Oh well.